“He was a bold man that first ate an oyster” said 17th Century satirist, Jonathan Swift.
I don’t know if old Jonathan ever got around to actually eating an oyster but I can relate to his sentiment, having found them repulsive until the age of nine. The summer of that year is made memorable because it was my first encounter with the oyster as a thing to eat.
My dad and two of his buddies drove from our vacation cabin near Laguna Beach, Florida, down the coast to Apalachicola Bay one morning to get a 50-pound sack of live oysters. They got back to the beach around 1:00 p.m. and set up camp on the screened front porch with lots of ice, beer, crackers, Tabasco and this huge burlap bag of oysters. We boys had been on the beach and in the water from just after breakfast and by the time we dragged ourselves out of the surf and went up for lunch we were famished
The men wanted to see if I could stomach a raw oyster, probably expecting me either to decline it or try it and throw it back up for their amusement. But no, I guess when you’re that hungry you accept the offer and just hope for the best. So I ate one raw, freshly shucked, ice cold and on a cracker with some Tabasco and horseradish and found it surprisingly good. It tasted like the ocean I just got out of. I asked for another
“Not a lot’a kids like them things”, said Mr. Fawcett. Then Mr. Whittle offered me a sip of his beer. “You actually like that?” asked my dad. I said I did and promptly wolfed down a half-dozen. Thus I became accepted for the next half-hour into the fringe of manhood. At least as a spectator.
Of course there’s really no such thing as the first man to eat an oyster. You can imagine tribes of hungry people, probably including Jonathan Swift’s ancient forebearers, being glad to gobble them down in the pre-dawn twilight of history. Oyster-opening tools have been found along the shore of the Red Sea dating back to 125,000 BC.
The painter, Sandro Botticelli, depicted the goddess Venus arising full-grown from the sea in an oyster shell only it was a scallop shell because that may have seemed less ugly to the mind of Botticelli (who, in fairness, may actually never have seen an oyster shell). It was a grotesque birth, caused by Venus’s father, Uranus, who was castrated by his son, Saturn. Saturn then threw Uranus’s testicles into the sea where they mixed with sea foam and caused the birth of Venus. Thus the ocean became the mother of Venus. It was a hell of a way to get born if you ask me.
Oysters have long been associated with sex and of course love was the station to which Venus was appointed by the immortals. The notorious Italian lover, Casanova is said to have consumed 50 oysters for breakfast every day to ramp up his sex life. My take on this is that if you ate 50 oysters everyday for breakfast you wouldn’t have a sex life. Or want one.
Speaking of sex, Oysters can be both sexes during their lives, alternating between male and female and producing both sperm and eggs. These are released into the water where they unite to become “spat” or larvae and immediately start using their energy to produce shells.
These shells, by the way, are 96% calcium carbonate. When they are ground up they become a long-lasting source of nutrients for vegetable crops. As an additive to chicken feed, they produce thicker and stronger egg shells. As a food supplement they aid in the treatment of osteoporosis in humans.
At around the time that Julius Caesar conquered Britain in 44 BC, rich Romans began importing oysters from the cold ocean bays along the British coast, packed with snow in burlap bags to keep them alive. Believing oysters to have aphrodisiac qualities worked greatly to the advantage of the traders who brought them back to Italy.
My old buddies, Bob Baringer and Lowell Husband and I got lost at sea in the Gulf of Mexico one stormy afternoon and were forced to navigate our way back in the dark of night to the tiny island of Mitchell Key after losing the boat’s main engine. It was a nightmarish adventure with only a tiny outboard motor taking many hours but at last we made it and were able to anchor on the leeward side by around 10 p.m. Fortunately, we had shucked two quarts of oysters on a reef earlier that day and had them on ice for supper. We rolled them in cracker crumbs and fried them on the Coleman stove and washed them down with ice cold Gewurztraminer. Let me tell you, if that wasn’t Heaven it had to be close.
And if you don’t like oysters raw you can still taste their remarkable ocean flavor in an Oyster Pudding. This splendid dish tastes so good that even oyster-avoiders love it. Here’s how you can share it with your friends:
You Can Do This
OYSTER PUDDING
(2 pints raw oysters)
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Strain and pick through the oysters to remove any shell bits.
3. Spread soft butter on one side of 6 slices of bread.
4. Slice the buttered bread into cubes about the size of dice.
5. Layer a buttered baking dish with (1.) the bread, (2.) some of the oysters, (3.) a layer of grated yellow cheddar.
6. Repeat those layers.
7. Mix one quart half & half cream with three eggs and salt & pepper to taste.
8. Pour this liquid over the stuff in the baking dish to near the top, garnish with more cheese, some packaged bread crumbs and a sprinkle of paprika.
9. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes then allow to cool 10 to 15 minutes before serving.
This is great as a main dish or as a compliment to a main entrée such as rib roast, fresh baked ham or any fish entrée such as stuffed flounder or broiled filet. My favorite wine to compliment oyster pudding is a light Gewurztraminer. I also love the Portuguese import, Vinho Verde. Both of these wines are delicate and sweet but if you prefer a more robust taste, any good Chardonnay or Sauvignon Blanc will do.
Well, don’t you know I’ve just about talked myself into making a run for oysters and making this for supper. Wish you were here.
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